2. Etiquette and Children.

I can't believe it's been ten days since I last posted an entry.. well like I said, welcome to the best time of the year, and they say that time flies when you’re having fun!! Actually, today marks four months in this country.. there’s so much I’ve learnt and seen and experienced, I just hope that I can help you experience a little of what I have here.

I know I’ve talked a bit about the teachers dinner’s that we all have around once a week. I’ve never shown you any photo’s but the other night I was adamant to take some just so I can post them up. The principle was not too happy with it, but I “convinced” him to be in the shot anyway. Maybe there’s something I should explain about that first.. see Koreans love to drink their favourite drink: Soju., Though they never like to “lose face”, so what happens is that there is a room for each group of people where they can go and have a good time without seeming like drunkards. Me, wanting to take a picture of the principle (one of the most respected men in our village) whilst he had been drinking is a form of losing face over here. I understand that it’s a part of their culture, but see it even affects children, and that’s the part I truly can’t understand.. ok more on that later. Here are some pictures from the other night.

On the left we have (going from closest to farthest): Mr Gwon (3rd grade), Ms Kim (Kindy), Mr Gwon (Admin team), Principle, Linda (the one who knows the most English). Then on the right in the same order is: who I call Hyong (older brother, part of the admin team & also the school bus driver), Mr Joo (grade one teacher, great guy), Mr Gwon (drinking his Soju, 6th grade teacher), Vice Principle, Mr Jong (2nd grade teacher in the light cardigan). Oh and even the teachers call each other Mr and Ms/Mrs over here, even in a social scenario.. so I’m now used to being called Mr Shiv (although I’m starting to change that around). Yes, we have four Mr Gwons, the other one is Linda’s husband sitting opposite her (he’s 4th grade teacher).

From the other side:

Lesson on Eating Etiquette.

Here in Korea they all eat from the one table, all the same dish, kept constantly warm or cooked on this round flat pan.. called a Bulpan. They sit on the floor and everyone picks from the Bulpan, whether it be a dry type of pork/beef/duck, or a semi-dry like the squid in spicy sauce, or even a stew like the chicken. Usually the dry dishes have a lot of fat coming off the meat so some Bulpans have a hole on the corner where all the fat can escape from. Sometimes there is also a second course when/if the first is finished. This is where they bring rice mixed with sesame oil, sesame seeds, seaweed, and a few others, and they place it onto the Bulpan and flatten it out.. a tasty second serving. If this is still not enough I’ve been there when they’ve ordered a complete other meal.. noodles or steaming soup with more rice. Then there’s those things in the little white dishes.. they are what they call “service” because they are complimentary side dishes. Each day there is a different selection of side dishes and the more you order the more side dishes you get (as a general rule).

Now the semantics of Soju drinking with peers.. this is such a huge section that I’ve decided that point form would be easiest.
~ First and foremost, you never ever pour your own drink.
~ Secondly, always keep a lookout on other people’s glasses to refill.
~ Third, when pouring, use both hands on the bottle or pour with your right hand and your left hand either touching the glass, your hand/arm or right-side ribcage area.
~ Fourth, when accepting always have the glass in your right hand and your left hand either touching the glass, your hand/arm or right-side ribcage area.
~ Fifth, pour the drinks of elders first. You do this in the following way..
~~~ Offer your glass (with both hands) to the elder in question; he will take it and then you pour him the drink (as described above). He will then finish his drink and offer it back to you and pour one for you too. I’ve discovered that this also works if you need a drink, you offer it to someone else and soon your glass is full again.. crafty devils aren’t they!
~ Sixth, if you ever offer your glass you must make sure its fit for the recipient to receive. You do this by pouring the remaining contents from the glass (even if it’s empty) and wiping the rim clean before offering it.
~ Seventh, never refuse an offer. If you’ve had enough offer the pourer some juice or water to pour for you instead of Soju.. they shouldn’t pour you another drink afterwards.
~ Eighth, you must look away from, or turn your head from the elders when drinking alcohol.. especially of you are a woman. I’ve deduced that it’s a sign of respect that you don’t drink openly in front of the elders. This also goes for smoking.. many teachers here refuse to smoke in the restaurant (which is a huge surprise), but will go away from the principle to smoke. The principle smokes wherever he pleases.. Actually the principle does whatever he please whenever he please wherever he pleases..

Notable exceptions to the rules:

~ People of great importance/age. They will accept and pour drinks with one hand and not even look at you while doing it if they wanted. Its fine and it’s what happens here. It happens with everything, if you say hello to one of them having a bad day then they may not even acknowledge you or just grunt in response. It was hard at first, because I thought I had done something wrong.. but then I found that they do it to all their subordinates.
~ If you refuse to drink you must have a good reason. Usually bring up your health and you can be excused from pour offers. I tried saying I’m pregnant once.. didn’t work unfortunately.
~ The final exception is friendship. If you are extremely close friends with the person you’re drinking with then all the above can be thrown out the window!

This is a collection of customs and rituals I’ve noticed and enquired about in this area over the past four months. I know that other areas also have slight variations to these conventions.

Ok, I’ll leave it there for tonight. I think I’ve just written an essay on drinking! I’m going to visit Ritu tomorrow and have taken two days off for it! I can’t wait!! A piece of home is coming here! Though she’ll only be here for one night. But it means I get four days off rather than the usual weekend.. oh and then next week I get Christmas off too!

If you’re not a food person, and couldn’t give two hoots about eating and drinking etiquette, here are some pictures of the children.. all from Nokjeon today!

Grade Six at my second school, Nokjeon:

I found HyeJin's hoodie quite funny!

All kids drink milk, I also have some with them. In fact I think I may be addicted to it here! Its great!!! But the think that freaks me out a little is that it can be kept out of the fridge all day and it's still fine to drink!

Mr Shin and fifth grade at Nokjeon..

Grade One (left) and Two (right), also in Nokjeon..

This little dumbo was so happy when he saw he'd cut out a square!

Remember I told you a while ago that a girl started crying because she didn't know the alphabet and then held my hand and wouldn't let go for the rest of the lesson? Well this is her..